Legal

Terms of Service

Large print, as promised. (The real terms are at the bottom of this page.)

The facility's terms

Resident agreement

1. Eligibility. Residents must be at least thirty years of age, or have made a noise when standing up in the presence of a staff member.

2. Sleep. Residents agree to sleep in VR, in a facility sleep world, every night. A resident found asleep in a club world will be moved, gently, by the night nurse.

3. Falls. Residents acknowledge that the floor is where it is, regardless of where it appears to be.

4. The television. Residents waive any right to change the channel in the Games Room.

Not a joke

The actual terms

Silver Respawn is a parody website made for entertainment. It is not a care facility, nursing home, retirement community, medical provider or emergency service, and nothing on it is medical advice. No service of any kind is offered, and no one is alerted by any button on this site.

If you use a CPAP machine or any other medical device, follow the instructions of your physician and your equipment supplier. If someone has fallen and is hurt, call your local emergency number.

Residents, staff, testimonials and products described on this site, including every commercial in the Games Room, are fictional. Photographs are credited on the Image credits page; none shows a person.