Call now 1,000 FREE HOURS! A shiny disc arrives in your mailbox. Pop it in, plug in your modem and listen to the song of our people. Residents still have three hundred and forty of them, used as coasters.
Ages 5 and up Neon Goo-Splosion It's pink! It's gooey! It won't stain your carpet! (It will. It is in the carpet now. It is part of the carpet.)
The future of refreshment Crystal Clear Lemon-Lime It's not water. It's not cola. It's tomorrow. Pictured: the 1994 relaunch, after they quietly put the colour back. Residents are still upset.
$3.99 a minute Psychic Friends-of-Friends Hotline Find out who's in your instance before you join. Kids, ask a parent's permission before you call. Do not use the cordless phone as a headset.
A public service announcement Be Kind, Rewind Your Playspace Please recentre before returning your headset to the shelf. Late fees apply.
Another public service announcement Don't Copy That Avatar A rap about ripped avatars, performed by a man in sunglasses and a turtleneck. Every resident knows every word, and will perform it unprompted.
Beat Saber on Easy, with handrails The blocks come slowly. The handrails are on both sides. If you miss, the song waits for you.
Mirror-dwelling hour An hour standing in front of a mirror with your friends, as is tradition. Now with lumbar support and a chair.
Rhythm games for the hard of hearing The music is turned up. The tempo is turned down. Somebody asks "what?" every eight bars.
